| Bits and bobs |
[Dec. 9th, 2005|10:23 pm] |
Aaargh ... back to square one, sort of.
Bigmammacorp liked me. After three phone interviews, two in-person interviews - it was a go ahead. And then the budget got pulled. Hrmph. My "I love you" company loves me back -- but the project they wanted me on ran into complications -- so they still want to work with me but they have to wait for some projects in the works to come around. Which prolly won't be til after xmas.
Back to Limboland ... wanna join me?
Signed up at some temp agencies. Why not? Funds running low -- and at this point, I don't really care what I do. I'll answer phones and type and do whatever until something comes through. I do hope come January something happens -- I have three companies that said they liked me and would consider me for future stuff so maybe, maybe that'll work out and I'll keep sending out rezumes, rezumes, rezumes. I need to make more than peanuts.
After taking all those dumb tests, the temp agency says -- I got "advanced" Microsoft Word & Powerpoint skills and "almost advanced" Excel skills. Exciting stuff. Oh and I can type 72 wpm (I had no idea what my wpm was anymore - I did wonder if all my IMing had improved my typing - I think so).
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As I was sitting in the temp waiting room today, my mind randomly wandered back to high school technical drawing classes. I started thinking about how fun it was to manually create stuff. Mr. Cogswell (good name for a tech drawing teacher, huh?) would teach us how to draw screws and bolts and other random technical items with a crafty-moveable-ruler-gidget that kept things at 90 degree angles -- don't know the name -- it was very relaxing. I'd be happy to draw some mechanical objects right now -- that'd be right fun.
And then I started thinking about optical printing. And my two loves, I spent hours with you Mr. Oxberry and Ms. JK Optical, we had a blast together. Sitting in darkened rooms for hours on end, fumbling in the blindness to load you up with 16 mm film to try to composite, and sitting there trying to find the right film segments together, how to work the matte ... trying not to lose count of where my film frame count was so that I wouldn't overexpose/fuck it up. All of this stuff now, can be easily done with Adobe AfterEffects and other digital software.
Ya really had to think your ideas through first, get your concept down before spending hours and hours on compositing and animation and drawing. The computer makes everything so easy ... now you can spend hours coming up with ten million versions and then hafta figure out which one is best. Too many choices.
Ah well ... good-bye my manual loves. I really did love you even if I do canoodle more with the computer now.
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So as I'm in Limboland heading to Brokeland. I sometimes wonder if I should ditch it all and head somewhere else. Open a B&B in Costa Rica or somewhere near Barcelona. You only live once. The cold weather tends to get my daydreaming of warm places and blue waters (well Barcelona is coldish now but still its a dream). Decisions. Student loans. Running away ... might be nice :). |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 1st, 2005|08:53 pm] |
How funny is this? This was posted as is, on Monster.com
It's the end of the world as we know it ... ;) |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 28th, 2005|07:23 pm] |
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Hallellujah ... got on the internet.
The problem with 'borrowing' from someone's wireless connection ... is that I'm always convinced that I have finally gotten booted off and I'll have get my own high speed. However, I also think that when I'm impatient or am not able to get on the internet right away ... I start twiddling with things and fucking them up. So I just sit and tinker and tinker and tinker until eventually I get on. But I'm still never sure whether the problem lies in the connection or my computer. Hmph.
I'll save that concern for when it happens next.
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 8th, 2005|04:51 am] |
Wow, damn shazam its June something already ... June 8. Time has flown. It's been a whirlwind coupla weeks. Got in a huge fight with my mother ... started literally to walk out of New Jersey. There was no taxi service in the largest neighboring town and I was plum screwed. But I guess nobody walks in bumfuck New Jersey ... so somebody called the police on sweet innocent old me. They checked out my background, made sure there weren't any outstanding warrants on me ... then the cop was nice and gave me a lift into town and told me where I could call a cab. I thought it was all pretty funny. Three cop cars for me! I am dangerous ;).
So den I gotta on a greyhound and headed back to the bright lights and big city. Den had to go back and collect all my junk (a little time and space helped ease the tension between the rent and me). Den I got my hair cut and dyed ... I went short for the first time since junior high! Looks a'ight. It's got a style after years of randomness.
Moved all my junk back to my place once I was able to move in. Had an interview for my dream job. Dream job. Job angel please give me this job! I hafta wait. Then went to North Carolina for a different job interview ... I've decided I would die if I moved to North Carolina. I just don't think I can do it. And I just got back yesterday ... and everything is a mess. I have so much stuff to do I don't even know where to begin. Mebbe I'll begin with a list. I have another interview in Philly, next Monday. Hopefully I will get a job soon! The phone has stopped ringing ... the e-mails have stopped coming ... hopefully 1) I get my dream job or 2) this isn't the only surge of interviews.
After my car accident in the fall ... I am now carless. This is the first time that I have been truly carless in this area ... its going to be interesting. Ultimately, I'm not sure I really need a car ... I live one mile from the subway. There are buses right down the street. I bought a bike for $20 from a yard sale. The development of the neighborhood has left me with a buttload of food options (i can go cheap or pricey or somewhere in between) ... tho' I'm trying to eat in and save money too. Wish I had a grocery store just a little closer but I can definitely make do. And then there's zipcar ... what a wonderful idea. I'm all registered to zip around but haven't used it yet. I'm kinda excited about it. Maybe I'll go somewhere for an hour tomorrow and try it out.
Anyways ... zat's my ramblings for now. More later. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 21st, 2005|06:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  angry | ] |
I never want to live with someone in a temporary, have-to situation again. I knew this sucked, but I had no choice. One month, how bad could it be. The pits. Whether its family or friends, I just need my space. And I'm tired of moods and bullshit. I am a happy, content and when at home, solitary person. It drives me fucking batty when people interfere with this. Especially when I have nothing to do with the problems and am trying to help. I just let out a blood curdling scream of frustration.
I have a lot of shit I need to do TODAY! I have a deadline for tomorrow. But since people just walk-off and refuse to even hear my reasoning.
E-V-E-R-Y S-I-N-G-L-E D-A-Y, my mother comes home and throws a temper tantrum. It's her ritual. Come home, be downright obnoxious and pissy for about half an hour. Then she's fine. We are two grown individuals ... if ya can't be nice, take it somewhere else but she absolutely always has to involve me. Misery loves company. And as much as she'd hate to hear this, sometimes she is exactly like my grandfather.
How many more days do I have to live here? Ugh ... not soon enough. |
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| yeah, yeah |
[May. 21st, 2005|02:03 am] |
so a little over a week of resume-sending and I've gotten a couple of nibbles. i haven't gotten a response yet for anything i've applied to so far. but a couple of different recruiters have found my resume. one position in north carolina that i'm really not so crazy about and another in phoenix, more of what i'm looking to do. but i'm really not crazy about either location. neither was on my short list of cities where i want to live.
but haven't gotten an official interview yet at either place ... but it is nice to get response. and the salary at both places is decent. i'm so excited about getting a p-a-y-c-h-e-c-k!! and also nice to be getting into a position where there's room for growth. i realize now how limited my previous career stuff was ... there was very, very, very little room to grow.
my brother just surprised me with a phone call from an old friend of his who used to tease me mercilessly when i was little. it was good to talk to him. |
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| Begin Again |
[May. 19th, 2005|05:35 pm] |
I've left this little spot unwritten in now for a few years more or less. The last two years of non-stop busy-ness with school, I knew it was going to be time consuming but never expected it to be as consuming as it was. So I'm trying to commit to writing more and being a little bit more involved here.
So it's weird to go from ... not having time to go do anything like the important activities of going to the grocery store two blocks away or getting the hot water heater fixed so I wouldn't have to take cold showers for a couple of weeks ... to having all the time in the world. Moving back from the UK has been a bit of culture shock but not so bad. It's nice to have cheaper prices, be able to find things I want in the grocery store and be able to drive again (and have access to a car).
Tho' I am starting to tire of living in the middle of nowhere in NJ ... but in a few short weeks I will be heading back to a city. Yay!
Such a city girl am I.
This job searching stuff sucks. I remember when I could find a job at the drop of a hat and now it seems like this never-ending process. I want to go back to the easy peasy days. Resumes are so devoid of all personality. Blech.
So hard to get myself started on the resume-sending process today. |
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| Blur of day and times |
[Nov. 24th, 2004|01:04 am] |
Without a regular schedule, I find myself staying up until 4 in the morning. I've been incredibly productive in the last two days, considering nothing is due until next Wednesday/few weeks away. Though I do have one thing to work on that's due on Saturday but I just got the stuff to do that project today. Maybe I'll work on that now. I just have the urge to get it done. So maybe I can have free time. Maybe I can have time to apply for some jobs.
I've gotta, gotta get my two interviews done for my dissertation. Essential. And soon.
So I stay up until 4, and I don't even want to go to sleep then but I force myself to. |
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| Bush |
[Nov. 6th, 2004|01:23 am] |
What do you say?
Honestly, at least ten different people have asked me what I've thought about the election results ... colleagues, professors, random people (and i think they'll keep asking ... the torture ... I feel like a slug with salt being poured on me).
What do you say when you have nothing to say/no explanation. I keep saying I don't want to talk about it. I'm so deeply disappointed... really gets me at the core. I don't get it. Don't get it. Don't get it. |
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| Arriven |
[Sep. 3rd, 2004|03:21 am] |
I arrived in Toronto four or five days ago. It's really a cool city ... Banshee, if you make it up here again in the next four months ... we have to meet up (hopefully no rainy, gray days). Apparently some famous people used to live in the house I lived in or at least visited ... Joni Mitchell, Neil Young and Cheryl Ladd. Apparently the zebra carpeted stairs leading up to my room perhaps belonged to Joni Mitchell.
I am tired and stressed ... but enjoying Toronto. |
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| oh so healthy dinner |
[Mar. 21st, 2004|08:18 pm] |
i think i will have grapes and doritos for dinner tonight.
primero examen manana ... have i gotten everything jammed into my head? nope! will i be able to spit anything out and have it make sense when i write it down on paper? i hope so but i am really not sure. |
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| Quiet on the Western Front |
[Mar. 12th, 2004|10:55 pm] |
Tony Blair is in town. It's quiet here and the streets are empty. I live in the center of the city and the streets are blocked. It feels a little like a war zone.
It's kind of weird, the night before the bombs exploded in Madrid, one of our neighbors was telling us about a recent bomb threat caused by an unattended piece of luggage. People are much more aware and cautious about unattended packages and items here. Its something I've never really thought of or considered until now. |
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| signs |
[Jul. 13th, 2003|12:35 am] |
my closet collapsed.
in terms of signs. since me and b. are always about signs. i couldn't quite tell if it was a sign to tell me to get a move on on everything i need to take care of. or my house is simply falling apart. i was going to have to pack everything anyway. but did it have to collapse now? couldn't it have just stayed together so that i could have one less thing to take care of? i'm still trying to determine what kind of a sign it was.
i was told signs are b.s. but after coming back from my trip, having silently wished to myself that i could receive some sign as to what i should do. and then having chrissy show up randomly where i work the same day i landed. and me also being stupid enough to schedule myself the same day that i returned, not taking into account my exhaustion level, time change, and hours i would have to work. the whole thing was beyond any sign i could have imagined.
what does this mean? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 13th, 2003|12:25 am] |
music overwhelms me.
i can't listen sometimes.
it makes me feel too much.
so much to do.
it's hitting me.
when i'm here i'm on auto-pilot.
i go and go and go.
i don't feel anything ... somewhat numb.
life is easy.
too comfortable.
it reminds me of when i was seven and tried to get lost and couldn't.
always knew where i was and what was around the next corner.
things need to be shaken.
but now i understand what i'm giving up more.
scares me more.
feeling weak.
and a bit vulnerable.
and a bit queasy.
still i need to explore.
makes me feel alive.
otherwise everything is the same.
nothing is new.
no where to adventure.
i can't imagine doing the same thing over and over and over.
i always need change.
i always need to be busy.
but leaving is saying good-bye.
i understand nothing will be this same.
i can never go back to now.
more than i've ever felt before.
i'm not certain i'll be back.
i always leave room and say who knows when i'll be back.
i love home but need to leave it every now and then to appreciate it.
i wonder. |
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| Are you a grown-up or kid? |
[Jul. 8th, 2002|09:52 am] |
This was one of the top fourths ever. I expected a mellow long weekend and ended up having just a great, thought-provoking, amazing weekend. I laughed so hard I could barely breathe, nearly peed & was crying all at the same time. Now that I'm home, I've been soaking it in and just thinking.
Such positive energy, good spirits, conscientousness, thoughtfulness, awareness of the world, and straight out love ... all in one family. It's really made me re-evaluate my life here on a lot of levels. I've known a lot of this for a while. I really need to focus my energies on cultivating the positive and eliminating the negative (then again who doesn't need to do this?). Increase my productiveness and know that I can change things/make things happen. I need to cut out friends who are hot air and have been a drain on my system. Hang out more with the friends who see the bigger picture ... the world and the state of it. I am going to focus my energies on the friendships I have that are positive, productive and caring ... build them up. I need to do more and need to spend my time with people who 'do' as well. I sound like a Nike campaign but its true. Basically I want to do the best that I can, give the best of myself to people and spend my time with people/friends who bring out the best in me.
Top question of the weekend, "Are you a grown-up or a kid?" from Sara who is five. I told her I didn't know the answer and what did she think. She said, "Kid!"
Camped out in the backyard which I haven't done in a gazillion years. Saw the Andy Warhol Museum & was amazed at how nice people were in Pittsburgh. I played a bazillion kids games. Had a million great conversations, Mimi and her writing & art, such an amazing woman. Tony and his career as a professional musician ... hard work, but how cool is it to be a professional musician? Antony and his issues with teaching. Antony's tour of Pittsburgh was awesome. Antony & John totally impressed me ... not many guys like that around. Em & Katie cracked me up. My sense of everything has changed ... just what I needed. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 3rd, 2002|04:29 pm] |
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I am the queen of meeting people who are moving away or who are from out of town. And I am the queen of visiting places when close friends a) have just recently moved away or b) will be out of town the exact dates I will be in town. Long live the queen! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 3rd, 2002|10:49 am] |
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oops-a-roo. tried to create a funky layout for my journal earlier this week. and foiled it royally. my html skills need attention. ah well ... just got it back to the plain ol' classic blue & white ... will just leave it at that for now. gots other stuff i need to work on. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 28th, 2002|12:37 am] |
I am Jose Vasquez!
Awright ... as I have a big day tomorrow. I psyche myself up by telling myself that I'm Jose Vasquez. And I think I DO actually do better when I pretend I'm him. It worked fairly well for me last time. So if you see me on the street, just say, "Hey Jose." Actually I've been getting other people into the power of J.V. And they better not be stealing my mojo or I'll be really upset.
It would be hilarious if I do ever run into him. Since he has no clue that I use him as my source of inspiration and he at one point did live/work in this city/area.
Regardless ...
I am Jose Vasquez! |
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